Welcome to the creative career solutions for parents podcast, episode 48 this is two quick solutions for minimizing overwhelm. My name is Jennifer[inaudible]. I'm your host and I am from limitless coaching.com and today is going to be a classic example of teaching what it is I need to learn myself. It's often said isn't it, but that we teach what it is that we need to learn and today's topic is very, very relevant for how I'm feeling at the moment and I decided that in addition to finding my own solution, it would be great to share it with you as well. So you are listening to the podcast for working parents and if you're a regular listener you'll know that it is my belief that a working parent is anybody closely involved with the raising of that child. So whether you work inside or outside of the home paid or non-paid, you are certainly a working parent and if that is something that you resonate with, then you're certainly in the right place. Are you familiar with the idea of overwhelm? I imagine that you are. I try not to make assumptions, but I'll make one here. What are you feeling overwhelmed about right now? The feeling of overwhelm is ultimately the feeling of feeling buried or drowned beneath a huge mass of some thing. It's also something that can have a very strong emotional effect on you, such as when you feel overwhelmed by guilt and actually it was a dictionary definition of overwhelmed that used the term guilt, so I find that quite interesting. I suspect that means it can be quite common. It's ultimately the feeling of having too much to deal with and I think that having a fast pace of life and certainly as a parent, the feeling of overwhelmed sometimes isn't very far behind so much like my opinion on guilt. I don't think it's actually something to try and fully eradicate in a way because, because it's something that potentially keeps coming up and so if in your mind you think, Oh, I'm going to get rid of this thing, you might feel like a failure if, if it keeps coming back. You see my take on these things is sometimes the feeling of guilt and sometimes the feeling of overwhelm will be regular features in our lives as parents and as a result, it's not a case of getting rid of them, but it's a case of effectively dealing with them and understanding what it is that you and makes you handle things better and makes you move into a more positive, more productive, more kickass space ultimately. So in today's for re quick episode, I wanted to talk about two ways of minimizing those feelings of overwhelm that you might sometimes feel before I get to two ways. I thought that it would be worth us having a think at the moment about what it is that might be making us feel overwhelmed at the moment. What are the many things that we feel like we have on our plate that is feeling a little bit stressful and a little bit much for me at the moment? It's that feeling of trying to keep all of the balls in the air. Success for me is working towards a big event at my employed work, a big careers fair, which I'm really, really excited about, but I have a load of work to do and I need about three weeks to go is the feeling of helping my little girl settle into nursery. She started at a new nursery just under a month ago now actually, and there have been so many emotions that have come with that and the combination of new emotions, new ways to communicate, bigger sentences, more determination, more individuality, more grumpiness to be fat. It's all of those things going on as well and it is helping to manage that and listen to that and support her through the process is working towards a course that I'm doing that I started at the end of January and I had hoped that I would complete by the end of December and that is looking really unlikely at the moment. I mean really unlikely. Ultimately I have I believe in until April to do it, so it's not the end of the world. But thinking about that course is one of the things that at the moment just makes me kind of feel like it feels really heavy and there were things that I want to do with this podcast and with this community, I'd like to do it a lot more regularly than I'm doing it. But yet also there's another podcast that I'm determined to start and it's in relation to leadership and career development for young people. And that is in relation to my day job. So something that is targeted at students, uh, both secondary school students and university students. And these are just some of the things that I'm, that I'm wanting to do. Never mind, you know, the remortgage, which leads to kick in within the next week. And looking at our finances and looking at our this and you know, we all have lots of stuff going on, you know, we're really blessed that we don't have, you know, those really important things that kind of put a stop to anything else. Like if your health is already niggling or anything like that. So I share this not because what I have going on is the most important thing by any means, but it's because I know that we all feel overwhelmed by different things and I want to encourage you to face them head on right now. What are those things that you're feeling overwhelmed by? What are the many things that you have on your plate and then let's go straight to those two and then let's go straight to those two quick solutions that I mentioned. Number one, think about what are the things where you are the only one who can do that thing like the legitimate Lee, the only one, not in your head, the only one, but legitimately what are the things where you are the only one who can do that thing? When I thought about it, I realized that if all of the things on my list, there's really only one thing where I am truly the only one that can do it and that is working on my course. Working on my assignments, I am the only one that can do those things for me. There were lots of other things, which feels like I'm the only person that can do it. But actually if I peel back the layers, there are ways that I can get support or ways that I can be creative about making sure that I'm not the only person doing it. So an example of that is the careers fair now in my work and the vast majority of it, I'm a team of one, so it feels like I'm the only person who can be doing these things. But this is where it comes to working smart and not hard at the moment. And that's soon going to be a podcast in its own right. But I know that I can share what it is I'm trying to do, ask other people to speak to their contacts, do things in a different way to how I've been doing them. You know, really sort of put it out there in a different way. And then ultimately I'm, I'm not doing it on my own. I'm the person driving it of course. But it's not strictly something that's being done on my own when it comes to helping nine of South Lynn. I'm certainly not doing that on my end. I'm very, very blessed to have my husband Rahim as um, as my partner in crime and we are both working on this. But I also have, you know, different parent friends, different mum friends that I can speak to, you know, sharing of experiences, all of those sorts of things, which mean that I'm really alone in what I'm doing. So I encourage you to look at the areas where it really needs to be just you like an assignment. Because truly if anybody else does it, you're plagiarizing or you're cheating. So the assignments are actually something that legitimately I'm the only person that can do it. But when I look at lots of other things, I can certainly share those responsibilities or I can share the challenges and come up with new ideas. For example, even with this podcast, yes, I'm the only person who can record the podcast. Technically I'm not the only person who could edit it and get it out there. I could hire somebody to do that. I'm not in that space right now, but I could. But in speaking yesterday to my mom about all of the things that I have going on, she said to me, Gina, you wait until it's late at night. You're so exhausted after your long day of doing all the things, why don't you get up really early in the morning tomorrow. Get up really early and see if you can find a quiet space and time to do that recording.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And that's exactly what I'm doing now. So while I'm still the only person actually doing this podcast, by discussing that thing that was challenging me and was making me feel overwhelmed, I had a solution, which is one that in theory I could have come up with myself, but I was worried about all the things, right? So I wasn't thinking in my most efficient way. So somebody else shine a light on that for me. And then I tried it and then it's worked out.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's one of the things, truly think about what are the things that only you can do.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And then get really creative about where other people can help support where they can do something else, even if it's putting the little one to bed. Even if it's you that's generally doing it. Maybe it's the time to see if your spouse can get a little bit more involved in that or if you don't have that option, if that really is only you see if you can see whether you angle for an earlier bedtime or a slight change in routine, maybe that makes it a little bit easier. So doing something a little bit different is sometimes one of the ways to minimize overwhelm, and in this case, the solution that we're talking about is thinking about where you're the only person that can do something and really challenging yourself to find those instances where you are not the only person. And I truly believe that there are more cases where you're not the only person than where you are. My one is to just get started, to just get started, just do it as a popular brand one said or continues to say, just get started. When you overthink something, you often get overwhelmed. You worry about it. You think about all of the potential consequences, good and bad, and when you're feeling overwhelmed, often you're thinking of the bad consequences you are in your own head and an amazing way to minimize overwhelmed. Whether it's about a business idea that you have and you just want to get it started, whether it's about starting a podcast or a YouTube channel, whether it's about doing a new hobby, whether it's about getting to the gym, whether it's about eating healthfully, any of those things, whether it's you know, looking for a new job, seeking a promotion, whatever goals it might be that you have, right? Traveling, going to see a parent. I don't know our goals or are in every possible direction, but there were some things which you were overthinking right now and my suggestion to you is that you just do it. Obviously. My caveat is that whatever it is that you're doing, it needs to be safe. It needs to be all of those things. I'm not encouraging anybody to be irresponsible here, but I am saying to you that if some of your overwhelm is coming from over thinking something, it may be that you have a case of paralysis due to your want for perfection right now and for way to get over that is to just do it. So in this podcast episode, we are talking about overwhelmed. We're recognizing that it exists and I'm encouraging you to think about what are the things that are overwhelming you right now. That's the first step. Think about the many things that you have going on. Maybe write them all down because it's much better to get them out of your head and just look at all of those things on a piece of paper. We're going old school. Hey, look at all of those things that are taking up your head space rattling around in your brain and look at them all on a piece of paper. Then there were the two tips that I've given today from minimizing that overwhelm. One is doing a real analysis on the things that only you can do. And as a byproduct of that, looking at where you can do things differently and get some more support and work in a team where possible, whether that's in the workplace or in your personal life. And the second tip that I've given today is to just get started. And that's for one where sometimes the overwhelm comes from thinking things through too much. There were many other tips for minimizing overwhelmed, but ironically I feel like if I go too much into detail that might be overwhelming in itself. So I wanted to keep it really simple and to give you those two tips and I would love to know where you are with this right now. How's this been useful to think about today? How's it been good to really just put down onto paper, onto paper what it is that's rattling around your brain and which of these solutions did you try and what effect has it had on what you're working with as ever? I love it when the conversations are continued in any way. And usually the easiest way is on at the limitless coaching Facebook page. So just search limitless coaching in the Facebook search bar. And feel free to like the page and join us there and comment under this episode, thinking of you, reminding you that you have got this, you absolutely have, and you are listening to V creative career solutions for parents podcast. I am your host, Jennifer from. Thank you so much for hanging out today. It's been a while. So this has really been fun and I look forward to connecting with you soon. Have an amazing day. Take care, love to you and yours. Bye.